Stop, I say! Yes. CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir? CENTURION: Well, no, sir. MANDY: Don't you 'hello mother' me. CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir? Uh, People's Front of Judea. CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir? I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week. till he came along. are you worrying about?

YOUTH: Excuse me. A man shall strike his donkey and his nephew's donkey and anyone... [crack] the vicinity... [creak crack] ...of his nephew or the donkey. BRIAN: It's not my fault they haven't eaten! BRIAN: No, I'm not! BRIAN: Oh, just go away!

HARRY THE HAGGLER: Now you're gettin' it. You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harbouring a known criminal? If we didn't have crucifixion, this country would be in a right bloody mess.

ELSIE: Yes. SHOE FOLLOWER: No, no, no. ARTHUR: He doesn't know what they were called! Is not the miracle of the juniper bushes enough?! MATTHIAS: My eyes are dim. Have you checked? Oh, my foot! In 2006, Ron Howard’s The Da Vinci Code, adapted from Dan Brown’s bestseller, was denounced as anti-Catholic. BRIAN: Ooh! JUDITH: It's our revolution!

I say, could He just see my wife? Silence! Tell him about the raid on Pilate's palace, Francis. ARTHUR: This is the Messiah, the Chosen One! FRANCIS: Once in the sewer, timing will be of the essence.

He is the Messiah!

YOUTH: No, no! If questioned, we are sewage workers on our way to a conference. ENTER CITY, STATE OR ZIP CODE GO. She's called... 'Incontinentia'. My legs are grey. [clomp clomp clomp...] Now, go away!

BEN: Oh, you'll probably get away with crucifixion. PILATE: Well, you sound vewy sure.

HARRY THE HAGGLER: Well, give it back, then. Maybe Cleese should have sent some crates of champagne to religious groups and asked them to protest. BLIND MAN: I am healed! All right. BRIAN: A what? [slap] You break my bloody BRIAN: Oh! [clomp clomp clomp...] My eyesight is bad. PILATE: No, no. BEN: Oh, look at that! BRIAN: Oh, they were called 'Simon' and 'Adrian'. We were here first. FOLLOWERS: A blessing! CENTURION: There's one place we didn't look. BRIAN: All right! GREGORY: It's very bad, and we've got a luncheon appointment. MATTHIAS: Well, at least it gets you out in the open air. Fandango FANALERT® Sign up for a FANALERT® and be the first to know when tickets and other exclusives are available in your area.

In Britain, opposition wasn’t as fierce, but there was plenty of it. BRIAN: I want you to move me to another cell. BEN: Now, take my case. ...And he gave them some ta-- Wait a minute. Brian, you were fantastic! I'll give you eleven. CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir? REG: Don't push that baby in the Saviour's face. I am not the Messiah, Blessed art thou, Hosanna! Is there another path down to the river? Hello birds! A ragged man with a skull cap named Brian is hauled into Pilate's audience chamber. There is a Roman because they believe in him, Mrs. Cohen. You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that. You've got till later. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week. You don't need to follow anybody! BRIAN: Aaah! Ooh oooh oh oh.

[smack] Aaaah! Are you trying to insult me?! A handpicked selection of stories from BBC Future, Culture, Worklife and Travel, delivered to your inbox every Friday. HARRY THE HAGGLER: Now, where's the sixteen you owe me? I have no time for law- Oh, I'm alive! Showing the demonic possession of a young girl, The Exorcist became the first horror film to be nominated for a best picture Oscar (Credit: Alamy). FOLLOWERS: Hurt my foot, Lord!

BEN: They must think you're Lord God Almighty. MANDY: 'Popped by'?!

A friend of Idle’s and a fan of the Pythons, he volunteered to remortgage his house and chip in the £2million ($4.1million) the team needed – a bail-out which has become known as ‘the most expensive cinema ticket’ ever issued. MANDY: Now, what have you been telling them? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that. BLOOD & THUNDER PROPHET: ...And the bezan shall be huge and black, and the CENTURION: Hail Caesar. BRIAN: I wasn't going to say anything. But they eventually settled on the premise that the hapless Brian (Graham Chapman) wouldn’t have any connection with Jesus at all; he would be someone who happened to live in Roman-occupied Judea at the same time, and who was mistaken for a Messiah by the fanatical masses. MANDY: All right. They believe he can give them Your people have walked many miles to be with You!

Is there another way down? A council has lifted its 28-year ban on Monty Python's film The Life of Brian after declaring its own X-rating certificate void.

MANDY: Huh, there's no Messiah in here. sinners, sinners just like you, sir, there, and the horns shall be on the BRIAN: Hey!

PONTIUS PILATE: ...Make one large living awea. GUARD #4: Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Meaning of Life Multi-media Script Part 1, Meaning of Life Multi-media Script Part 2, Meaning of Life Multi-media Script Part 3. BRIAN: I didn't bring you here! HARRY THE HAGGLER: Four? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name... SIMON: Tell them to stop it.

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